Kongo had a chance to chat with the two presidential candidates this morning at Dulles airport on the way back to the West Coast. His monkey advice was much appreciated.

Kongo: Listen, Gov, what was that Big Bird thing all about?

Governor Romney: Well, you know, we have to do something to make up for five trillion dollars of tax cuts for my rich friends. We just can’t afford Big Bird anymore.

Kongo: Are you kidding me? You can’t kill Big Bird! And fire Jim Lehrer too? What were you thinking? Did the Koch brothers put you up to this?

Governor Romney: Well, huh? I NEVER said I was going to get the bird..

Kongo: Come on, Governor, no flip-flopping, this is the monkey you’re talking to. You can’t balance the budget on Big Bird’s back and you know it. And quit strapping dogs to the top of the station wagon,

Governor Romney: Okay, okay. I get that. Now.

Kongo: Great! Now, Mr. President, like what happened Wednesday night? Where were you, anyway?

President Obama: Well, geez, I’m not sure. Michelle said ….

Kongo: Whoa, whoa slow down a minute. You knew this was DEBATE night, right? Not DATE night. I know it was your anniversary and all but come on, man, you have a staff, right? Get your schedule together! Mitt is over there killing Big Bird and you think it’s DATE NIGHT?

President Obama: My grandmother told me there would be days like that.

Kongo: Right. Okay, you two. Next time you guys meet tell the truth, show up ready to rock and roll, and no more talk about putting Sesame Street under sequestration. Heck, put it in the defense budget and call it intelligence support or something. Special Forces can use Bert and Ernie in a few years.

Gotta fly now guys. Travel safe, have fun.

Governor Romney: Who was that, anyway?

President Obama: I have no idea but he seems to be a smart little monkey.